Monday, November 28, 2005

Monkey say; Monkey Do. Mr. Bumps, Get back on the turnip truck.

Once again, I've been caught by an old book. How could I NOT pick up a book called Mr. Bumps and his Monkey?? There is actually a picture of a monkey with a crown and ruby robes on the cover! Sometimes corny is just what an evening needs. Here it is...

Mr. Bumps was a young man, a sailor. He stopped on the west coast of Africa once where a villager presented him with this monkey for sale.

"And then something which Mr. Bumps had not expected at all happened. It was this. His eyes, as has been said already, were of a particularly bright blue; and as the blue of his blue eyes met the gazing hazel of the monkey's, the creature stirred on his arm, opened his mouth, and made a remark. Mr. Bumps had never paid much attention to foreign tongues, and he did not understand what it said. Nevertheless, he knew what it meant. He knew for certain that the tiny, liquid syllables which had issued from the small mouth were a message from friend to friend."

Heh. BALDERDASH! I've never spent time with African monkeys, but if they're anything like Asian monkeys, T-RASH! Some friends and I once interrupted a settlement of monkeys during mating season. I've never SEEN so many fangs! Sling shots have a very practical use when it comes to monkeys and it's not because of their "liquid syllables." They're theives.

Monkeys (at least the kind I met) are much cuter in National Geographic. C'mon Mr. Bumps, wise up.

Sheesh. Sleep. Swimming.
Aubs

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Carrot Cake Caper

Cocktail Hour at WalMart began when she arrived. This woman looked like an average US woman doing her average WalMart pantry stuffing. But, in the shadows of her imagination, she was Robina Hood. The resemblance was stunning, really. Robin Hood: Dashing, misunderstood well-to-do noble guy robbing the wicked rich to save the starving poor; WOMAN: foxy, misunderstood small-town dweller robbing the corporate giant to save the starving ... er... poor. Her cart was almost full. There were the gushing fruit snacks for Sally, the powdered milk for Tommy, and Gingleheim's favorite blue, sweet pea flavored corn chips. The woman rolled past the frozen pizzas with speed, curved around the seaseme-seed buns, and paused in front of the creme cakes. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the apple stand to her right. This was the moment for action! Robina threw back her hair, lifted the plastic cover on a nicely frosted carrot creme cake, and pulled out a sizable portion. The portion fit perfectly in the plastic bag in her purse. While Sally enjoyed her fruit snack gushers, Robina would have one sweet coffee break! Ten points for the down-and-out. Zero: Corporate Giant.

And then... Here comes a brunette who needs a treat to bring to a family gathering at the VFW. She goes for the carmel apple pie, but needs something else.... something for veggie lovers.... hmmmm... She goes for the chocolate cake and withdraws (beans aren't REALLY a veg, are they?)..... She reaches for the carrot cake and puts it in her cart...not realizing until she reaches her car that she has been a victim of the BUH DUH DUNNNNNNNN

Carrot Cake Caper.

I'm such a sucker! Who doesn't NOTICE the cake they're buying has a MISSING CHUNK?? Oy, me!

Family. Festive. Karaoke.
Aubrey

Note: The Carrot Cake Caper is an alleged Caper and may or may not actually be caping in your area. WalMart is an alleged "giant" and may actually be of normal size in your area. Authorities recommend you shop with care.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Share and Tell

One of my favorite parts of the week is Kindergarten time at the story rug. They're always so excited and rush to the rug with their hands up and waving like flags. The other day, we'd run the gamut of the "usual"--

"I have a new puppy", "I got this (point dramatically to penny-sized scratch) cut at recess", "my birthday is soon (heh. in Kindergarten language, that could be 10-months)", and "I get to spend the night at Johnny's tonight."

One little boy raised his hand and said, "Coyotes don't eat marshmallows." He said it like this matter of coyotes and marshmallows was as normal to him as rocks and snack. It cracked me up, so I'm sure I smiled. He went on to explain. If coyotes ate marshmallows, they wouldn't be able to howl. Imagine a coyote trying to howl with a mouth full of marshmallows! Then, as a final clarifier, he said, "My mom said."

UGH! I LOVE these kids! They show off their war wounds (c'mon now, at 5, recess is all the war they've got!), look forward to being celebrated, have complete faith in what "Mom (or Dad) said!", are fresh in learning how to be a friend, and spend time wondering about fantastic things... like coyotes and marshmallows.

Love. Races. Howwwwwwwwling.
Aubs

Monday, November 21, 2005

chaff in the wind

What would I find if I somehow found the
deepest crevice on the planet and jumped
in? When I reached the molten core of Earth,
what would I find?

What would I find if I somehow flew so
high even the stars were sand below
me? When I reached the edge of the galaxies,
What would I find?

What would I find if I somehow lived
until my great-grandchildren greyed and
time passed away? If I stood on the
threshold of eternity, what would I find?

What would I find if I somehow walked
over every inch of land and sea until
there was nothing my senses handn't taken
in? If there was nothing on Earth left to explore,
What would I find?

Lord, you are a mystery bigger than life.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

The Reason

I never really believed (in my experience/heart/gut, though my head had it filed away) that an abundant life in Christ would be filled with suffering. Yeah, Yeah, Paul said rejoice in "sufferings", and

I'll rejoice in mine.... so

"woohooooooo, I don't have as much money as I'd like!" or "yeeeeeeha! I sprained my ankle!"

Eeerrrr. No.

SUFFERING.

Where can I go? If not to
The One who split the seas in two?
Who can I ask? If He's not
Holding the answers wise men sought?
Who can I love? If not He
Who created, justified, and chose me.

Hope is not the hope. Life is not the hope. CHRIST is the hope... and Lord, it's all on You.

sinking. sailing. sleeping.

Aubrey

Saturday, November 12, 2005

I had my sweater on backwards all day

Yesterday was one of those days. During first grade reading hour, I realized I had my sweater on backwards. The kids were like, "You could just pull your arms out of the sleeves and turn it around!" ...true... It reminded me of all the little tricks we weren't just born knowing. Here's a few I've learned in the last 6-months:

1. lemon juice takes out blueberry stains on your counter.
2. If you want to ripen pears, put them in a paper bag with apples.
3. Clothes bleach better if you let them soak in your machine an hour or so.
4. Disposable cameras (FUJI) have a pull out lever on the flash button (i.e. you don't have to hold it down)
5. Oxy Clean cures just about everything.
6.
7.
8.

showers.sawdust.granola.
Aubrey

Monday, November 7, 2005

The poets bygone

The writer of Psalms knew that the words of God are Living. He is so much alive that He can't even speak without something coming into existence. It's amazing. It's unbelievable. Lord, Speak.

The Twenty-Seventh

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came [1] upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. 3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident. 4 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty [2] of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple. 5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. 6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; [3] I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.

7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. 8 When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek. 9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. 10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. 11 Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain [4] path, because of mine enemies. 12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. 13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.