Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Lies, legends, and gravel road myths from Ol' Blue

I love your stories, Grandpa. I can't do them justice. My versions...

How to get kicks on a Tuesday night:
T: Hello, this is Sandy calling from Smackinhock Real Estate. Could I speak with *name mispronunciation* please?
G: Who? Oh... holding phone away from mouth Hey guys, is *name mispronunciation* here? WHAT? in sad, slow shockHe did? Well, that's too bad. To telemarketer He's not here.
hang up

Heh.

How to bluff your graddaughter:
Grandpa cruises around the kitchen in an old work shirt with the sleeves cut off. Down his arm, from the shoulder, there's a huge black panther tatoo.
Moi: Hey Grandpa, what's the story of your tatoo? When did you get it?
G: Well, Aubrey, you've heard of the Black Panthers? The group from the 60's? Well, I was the only white guy they let in ... but I had to get the tatoo.
Moi: What?! Really?
G: smile

How to put Rogaine out of busizzness:
One day at the body shop, G was shooting the breeze with the other guys. He mentioned that back in the 50's it was popular for middle school boys to rub that facial peach fuzz with carbon paper. Guys in the pre-facial-hair years could speed things up a bit. A few days later, my bald grandpa was fixing something in the shop when someone jumped him from behind and rubbed his bald head with blue carbon paper. That's when they started calling him Ol' Blue.

There's more, but I've got to get home!
Later. Love. Aubs

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