Monday, December 4, 2006

Goofy catalogues

For some reason, I got a Harry and David fruity tooty gift basket catalogue this year. I think it would be good fun to work for them... writing descriptions for their goods.

Red Velvet Cake
Genuine Southern recipe. Secret ingredient? Great taste!We make this rich, moist chocolate dessert with plenty of cocoa, and buttermilk for a little extra kick. True to tradition, we frost it in a layer of velvety cream cheese to hide its color before it's sliced - and to enhance its brilliance once it is. Finished with a sprinkling of crumbled pecans. Net wt. 3 lbs.


wow. Maybe we should all wear a layer of cream cheese? :o)

Coldwater Creek used to be the funniest. They've tamed a little since becoming a mall staple.

Glimmer scarf$29.00
Wrap up in plenty of soft scrunchy glimmer, with lush 3 inch fringe. Nylon. 58 x 9 inches. Hand wash. Imported. [G90742]


soft scrunchy glimmer?

Velvet jacketWas $89.00 Now $66.75
Willowy striations create a warm glow in this semi-fitted velvet jacket. Two faux pockets, button front. Soft rayon and nylon. Fully lined. Dry clean. Imported. [H19831]


willowy striations? STRIATION? heh. No wonder it's marked down.

They used to be better...something like this:

Relax and unwind in our indulgent silk wrap. You'll feel like you've been whisked away to a tropical island paradise. Our wrap is hand woven by Lebanese artisans with only the finest Mid-East rutabega threads.

heh. ok, ok, it's not Dave Chappelle, but I think it's funny.

Aubrey

3 comments:

  1. When did you become 250 years old? Time flies when you are three time zones apart!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your profile says:
    Age:250

    Just wondered when that happened?

    ReplyDelete