Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Those Aussies

I think it's funny that Aussies call sunglasses "sunnies".

As in:

Hey mate, take off your sunnies and you'll see the colors better.

Cuteness. Just in time for summer. :)

Aubrey

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Kermit needs Piggy

Ok, as much as I think Ms. Piggy wears Kermit T. Frog's pants in their relationship (C'mon Kermee!) ... every froggy needs a spokespig.

I have some kind of bronchitis situation happening in my lungs and sound like a boy in the middle of puberty and/or a weird whisperer (ma'am, why are you whispering?). It takes so much effort to talk. Usually, this wouldn't be THAT big of a deal except it's hard to offer samples of wine when you can't talk (I can't WORK!!) A N D I'm in the process of getting all my paperwork back in order after SPI (Stolen Purse Incident), so I need a voice to talk to all those Customer Service Reps.

Oy vey! Seriously. This is the first time I've been sick in a year-and-a-half. What timing.

Sometimes, it would be really nice to have someone to speak for me.


Rita-- the chain-smoking, pubescent, whispering waitress*
*red fingernails pending

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Best Burger in Atlanta

I was prepared to write an entire ODE to this burger. My stomach is growling just thinking about it, but words...

It was job fair day and I skipped breakfast. It was a freezing few hours at Atlantic Station, ducking in stores to keep warm. Then, we ran to the restaurant that brazenly scams Cheesecake Factory.

All I can say is... that was a good burger. Dang good burger. Top two of all time.


Cheesecake Bistro
Atlantic Station
Blackened Burger with Succotash
(because anything called 'succotash' is a guaranteed good time)
medium rare


cheddar cheese, ripe tomatoes, and baby, that meal would be worth a cross-country haul.
yum. yum. yum. and... yum.

Aubrey

Monday, February 12, 2007

Romper Room

I've discovered since coming to this Land o' the Braves, home of the gym chains... that a gym contract is practically eternally binding. SO-- for those times when an emergency requires you to "Hop off the bus, Gus"...


Ways to get out of your gym contract without spending a few nights in the slammer:** note: These are just ideas...None of these have been tested.

10. Date all the personal trainers ... at the same time.
9. Use the lat pulls machine like a ride at Six Flags. Yeeeha! :)
8. Decide February is official "No Showers" month.
7. Grunt loudly and vigourously every third rep.
6. Use your raquetball session to play a rousing game of Butt Ball.
5. Pledge your allegiance to Speedo by working out in one. ;)
4. Eat Cheetos. Leave Cheeto fuzz everywhere.
3. Give the hardest workers affectionate fanny smacks.
2. Put opera on your iPod. Sing passionately while spinning.
1. Wear a tutu.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Dear Ghetto Thugs

Dear Ghetto Thugs,

I hope my lipgloss looks good on you. I hope my coat keeps you warm. I hope you enjoy that $60 in ones you took from my console. I'll bet that looked like a nice wad, huh? I hope that screwdriver I had in my glove box treats you well. Please buy a good book with that Barnes & Noble gift card I was saving.

Thanks for leaving my Oldsmobile manual. I never remember which spot is for antifreeze under that hood! Thanks for leaving my contact lenses and Winser Pilates DVD. They were probably worth more than anything else you took. I'm really bummed you took my phone, but talking to my mom could change your life. I mean it. Give her a call.

...and really, get a job. Robbing poor white girls looks bad on you. Pulling guns on innocent people looks even worse.

I'd like to watch someone blister your ass.

Aubrey