Ahab's Big Trip

Sunday, November 23, 2008

From II Chronicles 18 and Andy Stanley's Morning Talk
**much artistic license taken, thank you ;)

Wealth and dignity were Jehoshaphat's reputation,
and so he became the Great King's relation.
Ahab, the Evil, was Jezebel's honey
and known for his love of cult worship and money.

One year, Jeho treked down to the in-laws,
The feast Ahab ordered led cigars and great guffaws.
He spoke of intentions to capture a crossroads
and requested adherence to "Thee Brothers Fight Code".

"Jeho, if this strategic hamlet I attack,
Can I count on you to watcheth my back?"
Jeho replied, "We're family; don't ask,
But let's seek the Lord in planning this task."

Ahab called prophets and prophets arrived,
They swarmed as 400 bees honey a hive,
"Yes, King" and "Surely, God will deliver",
"We have asked and the gods have given the answer."

Jehoshaphat ordered a word from Jehovah,
"God's blessing's horsd'ouvre is victry's aroma."
"Are there prophets of 'I am' remaining?"
"I've heard so much Baal talk, my ears are straining."

"There's one dude I know; His name is Michiah",
"He'll turn Sunny Optimist into a cry'a",
"He brings down a party before he says, 'hi'",
Around here, we call him, 'that baddest news guy'

Jeho was determined to speak with this mac,
Ahab sent a messenger to bring the man back,
Ahab loved parties and hosted unending,
The prophets knew exactly whose gold they were spending.

So they yelled, "Go and fight! You'll win and we'll cheer!"
Be a sport before leaving and pour me a beer?
Mic heard the party and the messenger whispered,
"Agree with the masses or your buttocks they'll blister."

I'm not with these sugarlips, I speak for the Lord,
Parties don't thrill me, He has my reward.
"Ahab, your sheep will be lost in the hills.
They'll have no one to lead when their shepherd's blood spills"

Zed, a bold prophet knocked Mic in the face,
"Truth broke its lease when it moved from MY place.
Perhaps you can tell me which way it went?!"
Mac spoke, "The Judge will soon settle the rent."

Ahab was sobered and could hardly stammer,
"Send this prophet of God to live in the slamma!
Release him when I feast in my bed, and
feed Mic naught but water and bread!"

"You'll never return, but perhaps I've misheard,
If Ahab goes, he's dead--People, mark my words!",
So, they threw Mic in prison and locked the door,
and Jeho and Ahab gal'loped to War.

Ahab began thinking while the posse's en route,
Of the possible wisdom of the Ol' Fashioned Coot,
He suggested to Jeho a change of costume,
That would highlight J's glory (and prevent his own doom).

"I'll wear the garb of a common enlisted,
If you'll act as leader, please stand in your bro's stead."
The good king of Aram, the rich little foe,
Ordered no man as target but Israel's king KO'ed.

The chariot cabbies spied Jeho and thought they'd won,
They unsheathed swords on Judah's High Son,
But Jeho knew God and requested more life,
And Aram's boys knew he was no place to focus their strife.

Meanwhile, a young man while practicing aim,
Faced to the clouds and arrowed in game,
The unmanaged arrow flew straight to the seam
of Ahab's shabby armor--and took down the king.

Counsel is treasure and worth a long wait,
Its purpose to save and not to elate,
Rush and end paying a price you'll not afford,
When seeking yourself and ignoring the Lord.


I'd never heard that one til today. :)

Rushing, Impulsive, More Ahabish than Jehoshaphatish, Slowing Down Slowly

1 comment:

  1. still loved it! Very educational and entertaining. I think slamma and gal'loped were my favorites. :)


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