Thursday, June 11, 2009

Thanks Nickel

Love is always worth the risk. Some part of my head has always known that. Some part of my heart never bought it.

Some time ago, a good friend said something like, "Aubrey, how can you love too much? Can you ever really give so much of yourself that you run out?"

People pass one another like cars on the highway. We're all vaguely considering destinations, driving tunes, and bathroom breaks. We're going different speeds, taking different routes, and waving at various traveling companions along the way.

Today, a friend who had recently started spending some time at the house with K took his life. It is surreal, unfathomable, maddening, and absolutely wasteful. These feelings are quite a jumble in me. As hard as it is to make sense of all of this, the sum of my experience with this guy is greater than the loss. I think K would say the same. That is to say, when the answer to "what's the worst that could happen?" happens, love is still worth it.

Love is exponential. The more you give, the more you have to give. The less you give, the more hardened your (my) heart becomes. Life is a gift, not a rat race. Each moment we have to know someone is a blessing. Satan is a clever bastard who knows how to twist truth into despair and pain into hopelessness. He wants to rob our lives in whatever way he can. The Lord is justice and light. He will have the final say.

My friend was right. There is no such thing as too much love. There is such a thing as too few moments. Life is too short to waste a second on anything less than 100% love for those in our lives . . . however quickly we pass on the highway.

Evil sucks. The devil is the ultimate deceiver. I want justice.

Aubrey

2 comments:

  1. I always loved it when you said, "swanky." I can still remember your face, particularly, when you would say that word.

    I really liked that moment on the road. I wish you well good neighbor.

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  2. What's going on these days? How's the newlywed? The health? Where are your blog updates? :)

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