Sunday, August 21, 2011

I Confess

There have been so many times in my life that God has showed me that I have very little to do with how things turn out.  I can iron my favorite blue shirt and show up early to the interview, but the job is in his hands.  I can pre-pay for tickets and mapquest the route, but traffic happens . . . or maybe it doesn't.

So, why is it I try to take credit sometimes when things go soooo right, or try to take all the blame when things go soooo foul?  Either path is one side of the same I-Run-The-Show coin.  Either way, I'm wrong.  The buck doesn't stop here, it stops with Him.

It's running on the heels of midnight this Sunday, and I can't stop thinking about how wrong I've been.

I confess...
God is in charge, and whether he chooses to put his Hands all over my little life situations or let His laws run their course, that's his perogative, and I trust him (or at least I WANT to).  :P

I confess...
I really like *my* plans, and I cling to them like an entitled toddler.  Lord, help me let go.  Help me be obedient even when I don't get it.

I confess...
God made me.  He gets me.  There is nothing I could do that is so wacky that it would shock God.  He is in charge, and I can rest (that's such a good word--REST) and just let his plans unfold instead of trying to steer his ship.

I confess...
That every time God has shown up in a big way, it has been so obvious and more creative and perfect than anything I could manufacture.  I really don't want anything less in my life than his divine, strategic, and gorgeous plan.   So, I'll wait for it... even if I wait forever.

I confess...
I'm really sad thinking about waiting forever.

I want a dog.

Love.  Ouch.  Lord.

Aubrey



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